Even Non-Believers Need Miracles: A Conversation With Ethan James Young
Ethan James Young’s 2024 LP, Fallen From Heaven, is not just an album about leaving The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Rather, it’s a universal story about grappling with belief, doubt, and self-acceptance that even the faithful can appreciate. Young designed the album for two audiences: those who are deconstructing their faith and those who are sympathetic believers seeking to understand the experience. Despite its themes of disillusionment, the record is rooted in Mormon traditions, creating an intriguing paradox of both departure and connection to the faith.
Despite being a collection of songs about leaving the faith, this is also an incredibly Mormon record. It can’t be viewed in any other context that makes sense.
Musically, the album is a mix of electronic production, live instruments, and found sounds, with Young focusing on creating a contrast between the "churchy" arrangements—such as strings, organ, and choir—and the often existential, introspective lyrics. This tension between faith-based sounds and the secular struggles expressed in the lyrics highlights the complexity of Young’s experience. Notable tracks like "Tell Me I’m Good" articulate the intense anxiety and self-doubt Young felt during his transition, adding a deeply human layer to the album that resonates beyond religious contexts.
"Help Me Believe" contains the powerful line "Even non-believers need miracles." I asked Young how Latter-day Saints can better minister to their non-believing brothers and sisters.
"'Help Me Believe' was a song that I wrote before and for my highschool seminary graduation," Young replied, noting the song had been rewritten to capture more of his current attitude toward faith. "I deliberately pulled from the story of the father with the dumb spirit who said 'help thou my unbelief' because I related to him on wanting to believe and wanting the Church to be true. In the story, Jesus did not shame the father for his doubts or withhold the miracle. Instead, Jesus met this father where he was like Jesus had done in several other gospel stories."
Meeting people where they're at, without judgment or assuming bad faith, is a cornerstone of Young's thoughts on healthy Mormon/Ex-Mormon dialogue. For those still in the faith and trying to make sense of where they're at, he had this to say: "Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. Give yourself permission to doubt. The best way out of a faith crisis is through. Come to your own conclusions regardless of whether that is inside or outside of the Church. When I was going through my faith crisis, I probably put too much pressure on myself feeling like I had to believe or fit in a certain theistic mold. Once I let go of that, I felt like I had room to figure out what I actually believed without shame."
Having the courage to buck tradition and arrive at your own conclusions after much thought, prayer, and sacrifice is something the early Mormon Patriarchs and Matriarchs would resonate with. John Taylor taught:
There are no dogmas nor theories extant in the world that we profess to listen to, unless they can be verified by the principles of eternal truth. We carefully scan, investigate, criticize, and examine everything that presents itself to our view, and so far as we are enabled to comprehend any truths in existence, we gladly hail them as part and portion of the system with which we are associated. If there is any truth in heaven, earth, or hell, I want to embrace it; I care not what shape it comes in to me, who brings it, or who believes in it; whether it is popular or unpopular, truth, eternal truth, I wish to float in and enjoy.
The album reflects Young’s own experiences during his faith crisis, capturing the emotional turmoil of moving away from belief and confronting personal contradictions. Young is still figuring out what truths from Mormonism he can still hold onto now that he's entered a new phase. "I wouldn't say that my life was only worsened or only bettered by Mormonism. It's just my life," he said. "The funny thing about deconstruction is it doesn't really end. I'm still remembering moments from being inside of the faith and understanding how my life has been shaped by it in a different light. I remember former bishops, leaders, neighbors, seminary teachers, and friends positively. I remember becoming better acquainted with playing the organ and playing the piano for the primary on Mother's Day. I'm glad I learned what I did in the faith. Even though I don't necessarily call myself a Mormon, Mormonism still shaped me to be who I am."
On a humorous note, even outside of the faith, Young has a morbid fascination with Saturday's Warrior. He had never seen it before, so he found it on YouTube and watched the entire thing. "I got the full vinyl of it earlier this year," he laughed. "It's still something that tickles me with its weird, super cheesy and corny music and story. I love how bad it is. 'Circle of our Love' is such a bop."
Fallen From Heaven's genre-blending approach incorporates elements of electronic music, church-inspired arrangements, and Mormon-hymn-and-EFY-infused art pop, making it a challenging-yet-rewarding listen for both critics and those familiar with Mormon culture. Young’s unique perspective and openness about his deconstruction process make the album especially poignant for anyone navigating similar struggles, whether they are going through faith transitions themselves or simply seeking to understand that journey.
Finding healthy ways to love our brothers and sisters despite differences is crucial for a Zion society. Brigham Young taught that "In the Millennium men will have the privilege of being Presbyterians, Methodists, or Infidels." Even a thousand-year, personal reign of the resurrected Christ won't force the human mind into conformity or blind devotion. It would appear that a True Religion ministers to all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people – the believing and the disbelieving – and leaves judgments to the Creator.
About the Author
Once a mighty warrior in the pre-existence, Gazelem retired and came to earth to get a body and explore the arts. Outside of Latter-day Saint art and literature, you can find him writing and editing for ProvoMusicMagazine.com
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